Good bye for now

Distance never seperates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad cuz I miss you I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.���

The day I've been dreading is about to come to an end. I wrote this today while I was on the plane returning to Michigan from Portland.

I just left Megan in the hotel room and boarded my plane to Chicago and on to Detroit.

A big piece of me is still in that hotel room. Twenty one years of prayers, thoughts, joys and tears. I know Megan is an adult, but she will always be my little girl. She is the one I dreamt about having when I played with dolls as a youngster. I know I need to let go and give her space(I don't think she could go any farther away) ha ha. But, as her mom, I will always want to take care of her. I saw this with my mom and dad on our trip. Even though I'll be 45 this year I fell right into being the daughter and not a mom when we stopped to visit with them. I have great parents!

My head knows Megan can do this, but my heart still wants to protect her. (momma bird wasn't ready to kick baby bird out of the nest, but I guess baby bird knew that she was ready to fly.)

So I write this with mixed emotions. Isn't this what being a parent is all about, preparing them to face the world? I guess the letting go part is the hardest. There is no going back to that little girl that needed me to guide her steps. I just hope she hears my voice in her head. (Two hands on the steering wheel, sit up straight, wear your retainer, be safe, take your vitamins, the "nag" list is endless.)

We had a good drive out west. We both agreed to never drive out there again, if so, only in the summer.

Megan I am very proud of you and the choices you have made. Thank you for being you! (the daughter I'd always dreamed of!)

Happy Easter

It's finally spring, but of course we got a terrible snow storm, which resulted in eight inches of snow. So, to cheer us all up I decided to have a little peep show courtesy of Jen (she can be the one with nipple pasties in the background).

Peep Show (Adult Content):

Now we all need to go to church tomorrow after this! hahaha.

Hallmark Wrote this One

I love to shop for cards. I know this may seem odd, but as I have stated before, I do not have the gift of "words". Many times I find a card that states what I would want to write. I found this card today that I want to dedicate to my children:

I believe in you-

in the things that are important to you

and in the way you choose

to live your life...

I believe that you can accomplish

anything you set out to do,

that you have many talents

and the wisdom to use them well...

I believe that you have what it takes

to overcome obstacles

and to grow from every experience

life brings your way...

I believe in your courage,

your compassion,
your integrity,

and your strength, I believe

in your goodness...

I believe in you.

~ Bobbie Burrow ~

Cleaning out the Closet

Lancie wearing Megan's boa she took to her junior year homecoming.

Megan and I finally began the process of cleaning out her closet, drawers, dresser, and every other nook and cranny she stores all her "stuff." It was an all day process, but I ended up with some nice hand-me-downs from my daughter because her room was overflowing with clothes and she decided it was time to part with some of them. Hopefully they will help me be a little more stylish, or as we learned from Project Runway, fierce.

I get mixed feelings helping her prepare to leave us. It's nice to know she's branching out and turning into the young woman we've always prayed she'd become. It's also nice to have her room become normal and not so darn cluttered. However, it's sad to think that these next few weeks will be that last that I will kiss her goodnight on the forehead or hear her and Mikie chatting across the hall from each other. I'm looking forward to our road trip, but not to returning to a house that seems somehow much more empty. It's especially difficult thinking that Mikie only has three more years with us before he begins his college journey.

I was able to convince Megan to get rid of the clothes she doesn't wear, but the best part of the closet purging session was the space bag kit I bought from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. They are sooooo cool. We stuffed jeans, bedding, shirts, coats, blankets, towels, and even some stuffed animals into the bags and then vacuumed the air out. This caused the bags to smoosh down and will allow Megs to take more of her clothes with her on our trip. This is essential for her well being since she has become quite the clothing connoisseur and claims she, "Can't live without certain pieces." We were even able to get a nice photo shoot out of it by taking pics of poor Lancie wearing her clothes (as seen above). She wanted to take some of out cat, Bean, in the boa, but the cat saw Lance's torture and refused to come out from under the bed.

A lot of things are changing in our lives, but one things remains the same: we will cherish our memories in our hearts and our bonds will continue to strengthen.

The picture below is from our family trip to Arcadia Bluffs this past summer.

I'm moving out. Me and my best friend Louise got it all figured out. She's got the car and I've got the stereo. I'm saving my dollars that used to be dimes. Getting ready, ready for the time that this girl's gonna move out. When you smile at me you take me to a world I never thought I'd see. Your eyes can touch my soul and fill me with a hunger only you can feed. When you smile at me. Some things are meant to happen. Some things are bound to be. Love has a way of making doubting hearts believe. One step from a heartache. Two steps from the blues. So close to a teardrop. I know what you were gonna do. But I'm one step ahead of you. Sometimes in spite of difference. Sometimes against all odds. Some things are meant to happen. It's written in the stars.

~ Amie Comeaux ~

Brothers and Sisters

Last night Megan and Michael had their "special time" together. As their mother, this gives me great joy. Megan and Michael have always had a special bond, not just a brother sister bond. Growing up they had some disagreements but none of them come to my mind. I always thought they got along so well because of the age difference between them. I've changed my mind, and realize now, they really do love each other and will always be there for each other.

They went for dinner at Applebee's then to the movie Jumper. Megan gave Michael the Dr Seuss book "Oh, The Places You'll Go," with pictures in it of the two of them scattered throughout the book. Michael wanted to give Megs a locket, but ended up getting her a circle necklace (circles never have an end). They have always supported each other in their endeavors (Megan showing Dancer and Michael's games).

Living far away from my brother and sisters, I can only hope that Megan and Michael will be able to live close enough to visit each other often and continue to have a part in each other's lives. I think they have missed out on getting to know their aunts, uncles and cousins. I do think they know my parents even though the distance has been difficult.

We have tried to raise them knowing the importance of family. Family is always there for each other.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" Dr. Seuss

Children Are Like Kites

Below: Megan and Mikie at Lake Michigan when they were little, you can tell who "the boss" was.
I am going to attempt this without the help of Megan. She has had a gift with "words" since she was about two years old. I, on the other hand, did not receive this "gift".

The summer of 1985 I was turning 22. I had worked my first year in hygiene, and met the man of my dreams, Steve, in Hawaii on vacation. The problem was, Steve lived in Michigan and I was living in Washington state with my parents. I was ready to move out. So instead of just moving a few miles away, I moved to Michigan. Unfortunately, I've lived here ever since. =)

I've always believed "you reap what you sow." I knew this was coming, but it just seems ironic. Megan will turn 22 this July. March 24th I will ride with her as she moves out to Washington state for her job starting in April. I think my mom is thinking I deserve this, but also knows the emptiness I will feel. I am happy for her, but sad that things are changing.

I found this poem years ago and have always liked it. I think as kids grow up they need more "string". As a parent I've tried to live by this:

Children Are Like Kites:

You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash. They hit the rooftop. You patch and comfort, adjust and teach them. Finally they are airborne... They need more string and you keep letting it out. But with each twist of the ball of twine, there is a sadness that goes with joy. The kite becomes more distant, and you know it won't be long before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds you two together and will soar as it is meant to soar, free and alone. Only then do you know that you did your job.

To My Children

How to make a beautiful life: Love yourself, MAKE PEACE with who you are and where you are at this moment in time. Listen to your heart. If you can’t hear what it’s saying in this noisy world, MAKE TIME for yourself. Enjoy your own company. Let your mind wander among the stars. Try. Take chances. MAKE MISTAKES. Life can be messy and confusing at times, but it's also full of surprises. The next rock in your path might be a stepping stone. Be happy. When you don't have what you want, want what you have. MAKE DO. That's a well-kept secret of contentment. There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow. You have to MAKE YOUR OWN WAY. To know where you're going is only part of it. You need to know where you've been, too. And if you ever get lost, don't worry. The people who love you will find you. Count on it. Life isn't days and years. It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you. MAKE A BEAUTIFUFL LIFE... the kind of life you deserve!

Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away!

If you have brains in your head. If you have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care. About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there." With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street. And you may not find any you'll want to go down. In that case, of course, you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there, in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don't worry. Don't stew. Just go right along. You'll start happening too.

OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!